


Presents

by 1000lux



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Bickering, Cameos, Crack, M/M, actual attempts at dating, inadvertend flirting, plush animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:13:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22189207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000lux/pseuds/1000lux
Summary: Kylo and Hux start giving each other presents... to piss each other off.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 16
Kudos: 185





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own rights to the franchise or it's characters.

"Supreme Leader," the storm trooper tries unsuccessfully. "The General will be out in a minute..."

"I don't have time for this!" Kylo throws the door open with the Force. He doesn't have time to wait for Hux to finish cleaning his boots or ironing his uniform, or whatever he's doing.

Kylo has never before set foot in Hux's quarters. Actually the personal life of the man, if he even has one, is pretty much a mystery to him. But that is probably vice versa.

"What is that?" Kylo asks incredulously.

Hux gives him a harassed look. "It's a mammal commonly found on Arkanis." he explaines matter-of-factly as always. "It's farmed primarily for it's wool."

"I see." Kylo replies measuredly, while still staring at the large fluffy plush toy sitting on Hux's bed.

"My mother gave it to me." Hux adds tersely.

And now Kylo sees it. The traces of use that show the age of the stuffed animal, the fur slightly matted and knotted by age and washing.

"Well then, General." There are so many things he wants to ask.

"I'll be at the bridge in a minute."

*

The first time he does it, it's a joke. Not to mention that the poor guy running the store nearly died while the Supreme Leader of the First Order riffled through his assortment of plush toys.

"It's a mammal common on Chandrila." Kylo tells Hux, mimicking his terse and professional tone. "Farmed mostly for it's meat."

Hux looks, for a moment, as if he's going to explode with anger. Then he schools his features, gripping the plush animal that Kylo just tossed him, tighter and speaks perfectly poised, "That seems wasteful. Unless this model is widely embellished, it seems only prudent to also use the fur."

Kylo watches with amusement and grudging respect as Hux walks out, the animal under his arm as if it were his uniform hat, and none of the soldiers even dare to gawk.

*

The next time it's simply an itch he gives in to.

"It's a carnivorous predator." He throws Hux the sabertoothed, orange furred fluffy toy. "It's not farmed for anything. It's not even hunted. Reminded me of you, General."

*

There's a murderous grin on Hux's face, as he quickly bows, one hand behind his back, and then takes a few strides towards him.

Kylo catches the item thrown at him with the Force.

"Since you deigned to bestow me with tokens of your esteem," Hux says through his teeth. "Here's a token of my respect... Supreme Leader. It's a–"

"I know what it is!" Kylo hisses, grabbing the plush BB-8 model out of the air, while wondering if their subordinates consider them mad by now.

The thing is though, he kinda likes it. Picking the BB-8 model is a low blow. But still... Kylo has a soft spot for droids. And it is... cute. 

Instead of ending up in the garbage it finds a spot on Kylo's desk. And he doesn't feel quite so alone anymore when he returns to his quarters at night.

*

He gives Hux a rock creature next, covered in grey fur, with glittery huge eyes that do not represent it's natural image at all. He gets a plush wookie in return. And that of course is a dig at his parentage.

*

They go overboard a little, after that. Kylo has a mobile custom made, with a deathstar in the middle surrounded by smaller planets. If switched on, other than spinning, the deathstar sends lightbeams to each of the planets in turn. Not that Hux will ever know, since the thing will probably go straight to the trash. 

*

Hux isn't intimidated, and in turn gives him a music box made with actual kyber crystals where a Jedi and a Sith fight when you open it, while a rather jovial song plays.

*

The next time Kylo enters Hux's quarters is after he's had a vision of an assassination attempt on the general. What he finds, besides the dispatched assassin and Hux only in his underwear, are... the assorted plush animals he gave him, in a neat row against the headboard of Hux's bed.

What follows is a standoff of staring at each other. Hux wins, he doesn't even blink, face perfectly expressionless, standing there beside a bed full of fluffy creatures who smile at them with huge eyes.

Kylo accepts his defeat, for now. When he goes to look for first aid supplies for the wound Hux sustained, the other tries to stop him when he's about to enter what, according to the layout, would be a supply closet. According to Hux's mild hysteria he expects plans for a coup d'etat. What he finds, though, is the mobile hanging from the ceiling.

Hux tries to push him out but instead hits the lightswitch with his ellbow. Immediately the mobile starts spinning, sending tiny flares of light to the respective planets.

They stare at each other again.

"I think my wound is more severe than initally thought." Hux says, head held high. "I consider it necessary to go to med bay. You should leave."

*

"What makes you think you could anger me with these things?" Hux asks snidely. "Maybe I love them."

"Do you?" Kylo replies, equally snide.

"Of course." Hux says both cold and gleeful. "Each of those gifts is a priceless token of appreciation."

"Well, then I'll keep giving them to you." Kylo retorts voiced like a threat. "It's the least I can do for my most treasured subordinate."

They glare at each other for a moment longer.

*

"Supreme Leader!" Hux rushes into his room.

Kylo actually gawks, because he's deep in his sleep cycle and also chewing on his plush wookie as it turns out. He feels vaguely out of sorts as he sits in his bed, only in his sleep clothes, trying to spit out wookie hair as subtly as possible while Hux stands there in full uniform.

"What is it, General?" he asks, coughing slightly.

"We received a transmission you should take a look at."

Kylo makes haste to get up, but instead knocks the music box off his bed side table, which starts playing immediately, uncaring of the general awkwardness in the room.

"You do me too much honor, Supreme Leader." Hux states with a somber face, before spluttering laughter breaks out of him. That takes Kylo more by surprise than anything before.

He feels like he should say something vaguely threatening or derisive, instead he starts laughing too.

*

"Are we still enemies?" Kylo asks out of the blue.

"I couldn't say." Hux replies at a loss.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo returns from the latest run after Rey, seething.

"We need to get my ship back." he states.

"It can be easily replaced." Hux points out bewildered. "Was there sensitive data on it? I can destroy the hard-drives remotely."

Kylo is quiet for a moment. "No... I forgot my lightsaber on the ship." he then says curtly.

*

Hux comes walking in while Kylo's cleaning his lightsaber.

"We've retreived your ship, Supreme Leader." he reports. "We did not find your lightsaber." He has the good grace and professionalism not to comment on what he sees in front of him.

"I will check the ship myself." Kylo says with a grave face, putting his lightsaber on his hip again, feeling like a fool.

*

After several hours, looking like he searched in the fuel tank as well, Kylo comes out of the ship, grumbling, "They wouldn't have stolen that... What the fuck's wrong with the rebels?"

Hux is standing there, arms clasped behind his back, an expression of slightly bewildered surprise on his face. Like when a rather experimental calculation actual gives the result you estimated.

"Was there something else you were looking for?" Hux asks perfectly polite.

"What... No... Why? Did you find something?"

"It seems the crew removed something from the ship. I came to return it. Albeit it's unfortunately not your ligthsaber." There's maybe the faint trace of a smile. He pulls the plush wookie from behind his back.

Kylo snatches it from his hands without even thinking. "Oh, don't look so surprised." he then barks. "You knew that was mine, you fucking gave it to me!"

"There's a band I like playing at the cantina, tonight." Hux states as if simply discussing the schedule for the destruction or takeover of a planet. "If you are free."

"Yes." Kylo replies, equally noncommitally. "I have time."

"Very well. Be there at five."

They nod at each other.

*

"So..." Hux starts the conversation, seemingly intend on letting his hair down tonight, at least as far as it concerns his hair, which for once isn't gelled half to death.

"So..." Kylo agrees, taking a deep drink from his glass, almost vanishing inside it, in an attempt to evade furthering this conversation. He coughs, which is a bad idea nose-deep in a glass. He splutters a little, wiping his nose. "So... uhm... you come here often?"

"Occasionally." Hux informs him. And 'informs' is the only correct word. At least he's refrained from clasping his hands behind his back, at least he throws him a bone, "You?"

"I don't really go out." Kylo admits, too off kilter to make up a story.

Hux chuckles a bit. "I know."

"Why'd you ask then?" Kylo scowls.

"Well someone had to at least make an attempt at conversation!" Hux shoots back.

"Oh, you want conversation?" Kylo sneers back. "Here you go: What's you favorite food? In fact, should we order some?!"

"Yes, let's order some food." Hux agrees like it's a challenge, curtly handing Kylo a menu.

They remain mostly in silence, while they wait for their food, with Hux occasionally starting to move along to the music, until he notices and immediately stops again, all the while ordering more drinks.

"You might want to go easy..." Kylo starts.

Hux only gives him a haughty look, lifting his drink. "This is either going to make this better, or it's at least going to make sure I won't remember this tomorrow."

Kylo wants to reply something, feeling rather miffed, but their food arrives.

"Oh no," Kylo grumbles, more to himself. "There are mushrooms in my stew."

Hux rolls his eyes, tsking, and pushed his bowl over to Kylo. "Give them to me."

"Uh...okay."

So they stand there, eating, Kylo occasionally dumping more mushrooms into Hux's bowl. It's actually quite nice at this point.

*

"Where are we going?" Hux asks, swaying in Kylo's grip.

"Home."

"Why? It's..." He pauses contemplatively. "...early?"

"No, it's not." Kylo shakes his head, with an exasperated smile. "Well, yeah, early in the morning."

"Are we still on a date?" Hux asks, eyes narrowed.

Kylo sighs. "I'd assume so. We had awkward conversation, kinda okayish food, we danced, and you climbed up the stage and flirted with the drummer of the band..."

Hux looks at him flabbergasted. "Why?"

Kylo snorts amused. "I wouldn't know."

"Sorry," Hux says blearily. "That's not cool... on a date." He leans to the side and starts throwing up on the sidewalk.

Kylo still has an arm around his waist, in case he falls over, grudgingly noting that Hux manages to uphold a certain amount of posture for someone throwing up. There's something rather stern and businesslike about it. Not like Kylo himself in the privacy of his quarters, after a drink too many, which mostly involves a lot of groaning, blotchy skin, a running nose and occasionally tears.

"I'm not usually like this." Hux informs him, coming up again.

"I know." Kylo nods in exasperated amusement.

He delivers Hux back to his room (none of the guards dared to even give them a strange look). He is used to the assortment of plush toys, most curtesy of him, by now.

As he tries to sit a swaying Hux on his bed, the other pushes him away, slightly slurred but firm, "Are you crazy, I need to change. I'm not going to sit on my bed in my sweaty, puke clothes."

Kylo can't help but laugh. 

*

They meet again the next morning for a meeting, before any of the others have arrived.

"So," Hux states, looking polished again. "That was..."

"That was..." Kylo agrees. "Yes. How's the head?"

Hux gives him a look. "I'm an adult, I've dealt with hangovers before. I don't need to counceled by a man who picks at his food like a little kid."

"Woah, okay." Kylo doesn't know whether to be offended or amused. "Did the drummer call?"

"Oh, come on."

"You only wrote your number across his bare chest."

"I did not!" Hux says curtly. "Let me inform you, I've never been blackout drunk. I remember last night very clearly." He hits the holo-pad rather aggressively, pulling up the maps. "How are the rebels doing, anyway?"

*

"There's a new trace of Rey." Hux informs him. "You ought to see for yourself. If we leave now, we can reach the planet in eight hours."

"We?" Kylo asks, following Hux.

"Exactly." Hux replies matter-of-factly, already boarding the ship.

*

Kylo is flying, Hux sitting by, doing... nothing.

"I don't suck at dates." Hux informs him, one hour into their flight.

"Okay."

"It was your fault as much as mine. Your incapable of chatter."

"But you aren't?" Kylo asks, eyebrows rising.

"Well, anyway, we're trying this again."

"We are?" Kylo inquires dumbfounded. "When?"

"Right now."

"This is a date?"

"Well, obviously. Why else would I join you on a quest to find the girl you failed even worse at dating than you did with me?"

"Was there even a sighting of Rey?"

"No. But I hear there's going to be the local spring festival tonight, and there'll be lovely fireworks. What's so special about her anyway?"

"The galaxy, blablabla...? Come on, you were at all of the meetings, you know all this!" Kylo states incredulously. "So, fireworks, huh?"

"Yes," Hux agrees conversationally. "Quite stunning I've been told."

"So, we got a couple more hours till we get there... Awkward conversation?" Kylo proposes with a quirked smile.

"I think not." Hux replies, straddling Kylo's lap.

Kylo turns on the auto-pilot.

*

Poe lightly jabs Finn in the side with his elbow, "Look, over there. Are those...?"

Finn looks in the direction he is pointing. "No..." He laughs nervously. "No way."

"Yeah, couldn't be, right?" Poe laughs too, a little shakily.

Rey comes back with their drinks.

"Hey, Rey," Poe asks. "Are those...?"

Rey follows his line of sight, doing a double take. "What? No..." She shakes her head in disbelief.

Meanwhile Hux and Kylo are busy kissing while above them the fireworks explode.


End file.
